Let me explain

The Dictionary describes the word revolting like this:

revolting (adjective)

1. disgusting; repulsive

2. rebellious

Hmmm this fits my mission statement to a T! Now I'm not setting out to be deliberately disgusting but topics I'm bound to cover may make some people squirm in their seats. The rebellious thing I've been doing since the early 80's and I got that down no problem. Wait, you want more clarification on the "disgusting" before you cosign? Grab a doughnut and listen up!

I pulled a little S&S last night, that's shower & smoke. I smoke marijuana (which was legally obtained from a Medical Cannabis club via my Medical Cannabis card) and take a shower. It helps me relax and focus (sometimes unfocus) on things in my life. My hygienic respite allowed me to lazily drift onto the new chapter in self love. No, I didn't learn another way to masturbate although if any of you have any suggestions feel free to email them to me! I'm finally learning to love all the parts of me that I kept hidden in shadows. The parts that get squeezed, squashed, mashed and suffocated in my past vain attempts to fit in and be wanted. Those negative poisonous thoughts have been banished to the far reaches of my brain never to return again! Well I'm not that blissfully ignorant but it sounds good right?

A miraculous body image break though happened! Go tell it on the mountain, the bakery down the street and my gym! I've been waiting to be this in love with my body since puberty punched me in the throat and took over or maybe it was the moment I realized I wasn't ever going to be the lithe ballerina I knew I was or maybe it was when I felt like an Amazon standing next to my friends in high school. I could find a million and one moments where I felt ugly, fat (and by fat I mean fatter than I normally am) unloved, and like an outsider. But those where moments where I was brainwashed into foolishly believing that I wasn't perfect just the way I am.

So I plan on being revolting (as in gross if you're not on board with fatties) and revolting (uprising against the media's ideal of what "beauty" is)! I know I'm going to take FULL body shots of me in a bathing suit and post them here. I know I'm going to loose weight and boast about it here and on the flip side I'll more than likely gain weight and boast/gripe about it here. This is my own personal struggle and triumph of living in a image obsessed world and how I deal with it and thumb my nose at it. You're more than welcome to come along and join me!