At Last

If you didn't already know I'm a big supporter of the LBGT community. I've skipped work to hit up parades, been yelled at by anti-gay protesters and even dreamed of being a dyke on a bike! I'd like to credit my parents for teaching me the values and the necessity of civil rights. Instilling in me the notion that people regardless of their sexuality are people and should be treated as such! I think it's extremely sad that in certain states gays can't marry. It heralds us back to the day when it was illegal to marry someone of a different skin color! I hear all the conservative feedback about how it breaks down society and family values yadda yadda yadda! I see it as love. So there's two cocks standing at the alter? So what? They're standing there for the same reason I stood next to a cock at the alter. BECAUSE OF LOVE! I truly believe that that notion is lost on many of the anti-gay marriage folks, many of whom take for granted they can rush out and get married willy nilly!

Now this story came to my attention via queerty.com and it touched my soul. For one they longevity of the relationship, which by the way is amazing in itself, and secondly they were gay in a time that is wasn't as acceptable as it is now. Anyone who objects to gay marriage needs to feast their eyes on the Declaration of Independence but with July 4th is looming its BBQ'd and M-80's head around the corner I'll throw this in, you know in the spirit of things.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness

So if your happiness is getting married and having 2.5 kids then pursue it! Want to stay single and surround yourself with cats? Pursue it! For these gentlemen they finally were granted the right to pursue their own happiness by getting married, 60 years after they met. The cynic in me did let out an "Aw" or two watching this.

I like pricks!

Since I was 10 I knew I would have a tattoo. I fell in love with ink at of all places church! There was a woman a few pews ahead of me and as I glanced at her leg I saw a dainty rose tattoo adorning her ankle. I didn't get an up close look but I didn't need one. I knew what it was and I knew one day I would have my very own! After that momentous Sunday I kept my peepers peeled for anyone sporting ink. I'd stare at the lines and shading with admiration and plain old curiosity. Questions zipped and ideas swirled in my grey matter. When would I get my first tattoo? Better yet, how do you get one? How would my parents handle it? Was it going to hurt? I was bewitched by this ancient art form and fast forward 11 years I was hooked!

I got my first tattoo at the ripe old age of 21. That's right, I know usually people turn 18 and rush out to mark themselves with their new found independence from childhood. Not this kid! I wasn't worried to much about the pain by then because I figured if it hurt that bad people would stop getting them right? I was more concerned with what I would get. I wanted something that had a deep spiritual meaning and that in 30 years I'd still want on my body and yadda yadda yadda! So after much deliberation and scouring the Japanese dictionary I went out and got the character for daughter tattooed on my right upper back. In 45 minutes it was over! I did it! I joined the ranks of modified people across the world! I felt more connected with my body and my heritage. That was the beginning of the end for me and for my bank account!

So here I am, 24 tattoos later preparing for yet another 4+ hour session tomorrow to work on my Oni 1/2 sleeve. I'm not looking forward to the hours of pain but the end result is worth it. And that folks has become my outlook on life. I know in an instant life can go from butterflies and rainbows to daggers and skulls. I've even come to expect the pain but I don't let it hinder my experience on this earth. If I didn't know I was in a valley then I most certainly would not know when I was on a mountain.

This was my the first session on my Oni

It's MY body, I'll do what I want!

I've tried hard to figure out what exactly what "message" I wanted to convey in this post. I was dizzy with going back and forth over what to discuss, dissect or debate. I was feeling the sophomore slump for serious. So instead of trying to impress with quantity I'm shooting for quality. I haven't forgotten the remark about being in a bathing suit and to prepare for the auspicious body break through, I'm going to slowly face my body hang ups. And so I present a few candid shots of my body parts that I'm trying to love more!

Testing the water here with an image I see all the time. Up until a few years ago I didn't like to wear shorts or short skirts because I thought my thighs were fat. Uh wake up call! I'm fat...so parts of my body are going to be covered in it! Also I live in a place that's hotter than fried fuck on a Friday (yes, I get wet for alliterations) so wearing next to nothing became a summer survival technique!

So here's my thigh. Sometimes when I'm bored and naked I like to smush parts of my thigh together so I can see cellulite! I do sleep better at night knowing that Kim Kardashian sweats her 'lite and I don't have any it's petty I know, but let me have my tiny victory over her!

My vital signs appear to be at normal levels so I'll continue....

Well, well it's a tummy roll! An actual part of my gut on the internet for people to see? That's right! I pinched it up, ghetto nails and all! That right there, mentally held me back. It stopped me from hitting on the cute guy at the bar or wearing a top that was a wee bit tight. I wore baggy hoodies to hide in because I mistakenly thought that extra fabric would make me invisible. What I hold between my fingers is so insignificant to my core being but yet I let it have sovereignty! My brain, soul and heart are what you should care about, don't get me wrong I'm hella pretty BUT looks & stretch marks fade, my character won't.

Ok, so I'm feeling empowered and in charge of my body. I'm about to show a part of my body that only my ex's and doctors have seen. Deep breath!

KAPOW!

How do you feel about that ladies and gentlemen? Are you running away in terror, screaming your head off at the mere sight of my fat? If you are please build a bridge and kindly get the fuck over it! What you see before you is just a meat sack that holds all my good stuff. If you let these pictures determine if I'm worthy of your time, I don't need you in my life. Please see your superficial ass to the nearest exit and don't let the door hit ya, where the good Lord split ya!

That wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be! I'm that much closer y'all to busting out in the suit! I have heels picked out for it already! I realize I'm not perfect nor do I want to be but I'm tired of feeling bad because I weigh over 200lbs. Like Cartman says, "It's my body! I'll do what I want!"